Hark! Attend, good gentlefolk, to the marvels of Shakespearmints! As the Bard himself might inquire, "How art thou out of breath when thou hast breath to say to me that thou art out of breath?" Fear not, for with Shakespearmints, thy breath shall not wilt like a summer flower.

Whether thou art in the presence of knave or mistress, let not the whispers of halitosis assail thee. Nay, carry this quaint tin of mints, for 'tis no trash to be stolen – a treasure to guard thy breath from reeking judgment.

So, let not thy speech be robbed of its sweetness; instead, pop a Shakespearmint and let thy breath steal the show. In the immortal words of the Bard, "Don't go anywhere without UPG's invigorating little mints in a tin." Forsooth, who knew breath could be so cool?