{"product_id":"funny-new-baby-card-crotch-goblin","title":"The \"Congrats on Your Crotch Goblin\" Funny New Baby Card","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eTo begin with, celebrate the new bundle of joy with a healthy dose of reality and a massive splash of sarcasm. You desperately need this \u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"137\"\u003efunny new baby card\u003c\/strong\u003e to bypass the standard, nauseatingly sweet sentiments. This vintage-inspired standout from Bad Betty Greeting Co. is the ultimate choice for a baby shower. It perfectly welcomes the new arrival with a bit of honesty and a lot of laughter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eWhy You Need This Funny New Baby Card\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eFurthermore, this card serves as a brilliantly irreverent salute to the chaos of parenthood. Why settle for a generic greeting when you can offer a blunt and iconic sentiment? \u003cspan class=\"citation-60\"\u003eThis \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"181\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-60\"\u003efunny new baby card\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-60 citation-end-60\"\u003e features retro-inspired illustrations that add a layer of unexpected wit to a modern, sharp punchline.\u003c\/span\u003e It is a wonderfully weird way to acknowledge that while they are \"angels,\" they are also most definitely crotch goblins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp id=\"p-rc_992c70352c768c25-57\" data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAdditionally, the premium quality soft-touch cardstock feels luxurious and substantial in your hand—perfect for surviving the inevitable mess of a newborn. This \u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"161\"\u003efunny new baby card\u003c\/strong\u003e is precision die-cut for a professional, high-end finish. The interior is completely blank, giving you a clean slate to add your own unsolicited advice, sleep-deprived jokes, or a rare moment of actual sincerity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003eIrreverent Specifications and Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eUltimately, this is the essential send-off for any new parent's sanity. It includes a classic A2 kraft envelope for a rustic, complete look. Check out the exact specifications for this \u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"10\" data-index-in-node=\"185\"\u003efunny new baby card\u003c\/strong\u003e before you head to the baby shower:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"11,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSentiment:\u003c\/strong\u003e \"Congrats on Your Crotch Goblin.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"11,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium Quality Soft-Touch Cardstock.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-59\"\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-59 citation-end-59\"\u003e A2 Size (4-3\/8 by 5-3\/4 inches).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp id=\"p-rc_992c70352c768c25-58\" data-path-to-node=\"11,2,0\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"11,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eInclusions:\u003c\/strong\u003e One Greeting Card and a matching A2 Kraft Envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11,4,0\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"11,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eOrigin:\u003c\/strong\u003e Printed with pride in the USA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eMake their new-parent debut legendary by creating a \"Survival Kit\" gift bundle. Pair this card with our \"Great Job\" card for those midnight feedings, or the \"1900s survivor\" card for the parents who are already feeling the weight of the years. Add this \u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"253\"\u003efunny new baby card\u003c\/strong\u003e to your Ziya Blue cart today and welcome the new addition with a well-deserved laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bad Betty Greeting Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52449452392753,"sku":null,"price":8.99,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0969\/2912\/0561\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_opgjekopgjekopgj.jpg?v=1791769378","url":"https:\/\/www.ziyablue.com\/products\/funny-new-baby-card-crotch-goblin","provider":"Ziya Blue","version":"1.0","type":"link"}